Pregnancy Hormones

Ok so…these hormones are going to be the death of me.

I realize that this is my second time being pregnant but, this is the first time I’ve had to do this with a toddler in tow. The struggle…oh, the struggle…

I really shouldn’t complain too much; we hired a part-time nanny to come help me out with Lilly on weekday mornings. It’s been great being able to have a few hours to myself but, apparently, pregnancy hormones don’t care about being rational.

Nope. Being rational is no longer a thing I can do.

The part-time nanny canceled today because of the ice-pocalypse happening in DFW right now. I completely understand; I wouldn’t want to drive in this either. I wasn’t even mad at her. At all. But now it’s 5 p.m. and after spending all day with Mickey Mouse, a toddler, and Old McDonald Had a Farm…I’m ready to throat punch a stranger.

Like I said, these hormones will be the death of me.

I sound completely insane and I’m sorry for that but, I never want to be anything other than my authentic self on this blog. I suffer from depression and anxiety and pregnancy has been having a fiiiieeeld daaaaay with those. I have days where all there is inside me is frustration and I can’t really see anything else. That’s the nature of the beast, I guess.

Honestly, I didn’t start feeling like this until about 5 pm when my husband still wasn’t getting off work. Lilly and I had a great day up until then. We played, practiced our colors, watched some cartoons, and danced around. I’m a good mom, I promise. But when that clock read 5:01, oooooh boy! Rage.

What is he doing?

Does he know it’s 5:00?

And that I’ve been pregnant and alone with a toddler all day?

Does he care?

Does his job know that I’m pregnant?

Should I tell them?

All irrational thoughts. All had by me.

So now I’m hiding in the bedroom feeling slightly ashamed and blabbering on to you guys.

Luckily, I’ll only be pregnant for another 3ish months. Not sure how postpartum me will be but, let’s all just cross our fingers, shall we?

Love you guys! Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

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