Oh, shit.

About three weeks ago, Paul and I went to the movies to see Star Wars. My mom was in town and said she could watch Lilly for us. I had been feeling a little off all day so I was excited to get out and do something fun. The first trailer comes on and it’s for the live action Mulan. At the end of the trailer, an instrumental version of “Reflection” comes on and, suddenly, I’m in tears.

During the actual movie I teared up about 7 different times. The weird part was that I had seen it before and didn’t cry the first time. I already knew what was going to happen and, yet, I was an emotional wreck.

After the movie, Paul and I were having a drink at the bar and, I grabbed my phone and pulled up my cycle tracker. I get emotional a few days before my period which would explain it. According to the app, I wasn’t supposed to get my period for another week and a half. I couldn’t help thinking this was similar to how I was before finding out I was pregnant with Lillian.

Crap.

The anxiety kicked in. It’s only been 7 months since my c-section and my OB was very clear about waiting at least 18 months before trying for a second baby to give my uterus time to heal. Getting pregnant again so soon would put me at risk for uterine rupture. I definitely want to get pregnant again in the near future but, the risks associated with getting pregnant this soon scare me. I started googling like mad – one of my anxious habits – to find out exactly all the risks, read stories from others that have gotten pregnant soon after c-sections, and skim any remotely related articles.

Well, I’m not pregnant but, it definitely had my husband and I worried for a minute. Lillian is only 7 months old and, there’s a good chance my OB would have put me on bed rest, making it hard for me to take care of Lillian. That definitely was not a fun thought for Paul. Let’s face it, I would be thrilled to be pregnant again but, it’s just too soon.

This had me thinking a lot, though, about when I would want to have another baby. It always seems the second kid is more planned than the first because parents like to choose the age difference they want between their kids. This puts a little more pressure on things. I’ve always said I would love my children to be close in age to each other so, we’ll see what happens.

I’m not sure exactly when we’ll start trying for #2 but, I’m glad we don’t have to worry about a risky pregnancy right now.

3 thoughts on “Oh, shit.

  1. When I had my postpartum checkup after my first baby (c-section) they told me to wait 9 months to get pregnant because they like to have at least 18 months between births. I guess different drs have different rules. My dr at that time was an MFM.

    I laughed it off because it had taken 4.5 years and 2 cycles of IVF to get pregnant with our first baby and I was just thanking God we had managed to have 1 child! Well, 9 months later I realized I was late and decided to take a test, fully expecting a negative. Imagine my shock at a positive!! 😂 I had a healthy pregnancy and a vbac at 17 months post c-section. Nobody seemed overly concerned about rupture, although I managed to worry about it quite a lot. 😅 Hopefully you’ll have an awesome experience too whenever you decide to get pregnant again. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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