4 Things I Didn’t Expect

When I was pregnant, I was shocked at how many side effects I had that other women never talked about. I felt completely unprepared and it wasn’t until I talked about what I was experiencing that other women were like “Oh, yes. Me too”.

Now that Lilly is out, I’ve found that women talk even less about what happens to the body after baby and some issues that women face.

Sweat: I don’t think I’ve ever sweat so much in my entire life. Newsflash, women can be gross too and, boy, do I feel nasty all the time. Postpartum sweating is apparently very common and is the body’s way of getting rid of the extra fluid it was using to carry baby. Postpartum sweating usually happens at night but, if you’re like me, it’s just a constant issue. Plus, my body can never tell if it’s too hot or too cold. Even with the sweat, sometimes I’m just freezing :/ Living in Texas doesn’t make this any easier.

Joint Pain: Ever since having Lilly, I’ve had the worst joint pain especially in my hands. The pain in my knuckles is constant and cracking them only relieves the pain for a second or two. Sometimes, I can’t even crack them. I’m assuming that the hormone Relaxin that loosened everything for my growing baby is the culprit here, but I really need it to stop running amuck now. The joint pain has made trying to get back in shape a struggle because any sort of impact is super painful for me.

Sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work: I had always planned on breastfeeding Lilly; I was so excited for the bonding experience that women always say is magical. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I got the normal breast changes: the boobs got bigger and the nipples popped out. I assumed that once Lilly was here, my boobs would continue to do what they were supposed to do and Lilly would know what she needed to do as well. Then Lilly was born and I found out that breastfeeding isn’t as automatic as I once thought. My nipples fell flat as pancakes no matter how much I tried to stimulate them and Lilly had nothing to latch onto. Even worse, my milk supply never really came in fully and then stopped altogether after just a few weeks. I was able to pump for a little while so, Lilly did get some of my milk, but it was only an ounce per bottle of formula at most. I’m a firm believer in fed is best; as long as Lilly is healthy, it doesn’t matter how she gets fed, but I couldn’t help feeling defective for a while. My postpartum depression just made this feel worse; I felt like I was letting Lilly down somehow.

I miss being pregnant: Like, I really miss being pregnant. My pregnancy was pretty tough and there were so many moments of misery but, I want to do it all over again. I didn’t think I would feel like this but, the whole process is so amazing and fascinating that I feel like it’s now my job to just create life. I mean, I was making eyeballs and shit! It’s just so cool! Before I had Lilly, I never really thought about this much. People would have babies and it was such a normal thing. But it’s SO cool. I just miss creating a life inside me; my abdomen feels so empty and pointless now. I told my husband that I miss being pregnant and he gave me some major side-eye. What he can’t seem to understand, though, is that I think the second pregnancy will be easier simply because I will already sort of know what to expect. When I was pregnant with Lilly, I feel like I was freaking out over every little symptom and I hated not knowing what was happening.

As much as I miss being pregnant, I think it’ll be a while before we have another baby; I think I’d like to have my children be 2 years apart. I just hope I can get my husband on board when that time comes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s