My little girl turned 2 months yesterday! 🙂 She has become a master at turning her head completely from side to side during tummy time, she makes adorable cooing noises, and she’s been sleeping for longer stretches at night. As for me, the PPD seems to be getting easier with the medication. I’m on the antidepressant Lexapro that I take daily and I’m also taking an as needed anxiety med, Buspirone. The PPD has definitely been getting better, but I still have my dark moments. I think the worst part about these moments is that I tend to take my feelings out on my husband since he’s so close. I don’t mean to and I feel terrible about it; I didn’t realize that PPD would affect my relationship with my husband, but he’s been incredibly understanding. I’m sure this will get better with time and I am going to work on not letting my emotions get the best of me.
Tomorrow Lilly has her 2 month appointment with the pediatrician where she’ll get her first round of vaccines and I can’t wait to finally be able to take her out in public more than just for doctors appointments. As much as I love being a stay at home mom, I really miss being able to interact with other people outside of my house. I would love to take her to a park or to the zoo! I’ll definitely need to find some mom friends soon so that I can make these group outings 🙂
Also next week we are taking Lilly on her first trip. Next Friday is my birthday and we will be spending the weekend in San Antonio with friends and family. My grandpa is visiting from France and it’s going to be amazing to see him. I can’t wait to introduce him to his great granddaughter 🙂 I’m so excited to see my family; I think it’ll do me some good. I’m a little nervous for the 5 and half hour car ride with an infant but, I’m sure she’ll sleep for most of the time. She falls asleep instantly in the car during short car trips, so I’m hoping this long trip won’t be any different.
As I mentioned, I love being a stay at home mom. I didn’t realize, however, that I would miss earning an income. My husband makes enough to support all of us himself but, I’ve always liked having my own money. I realize the money is all the same since we’re married, but it feels different in my head. Maybe it’s because my mom was a single mom for a long time but, I’ve always felt that I needed to have some financial independence. I definitely want to continue to stay home with Lilly, though, so I’ve been looking for work-from-home jobs I could do. I actually applied to be a Stitch Fix stylist earlier this week. It’s 15 hours per week and about $15 an hour. It’s not a lot of money, but it’ll make me feel better I think. Plus, having a small job will provide me good distraction when my PPD acts up.
So, everyone keep your fingers crossed that I get the job! 🙂 Apparently I would get a discount on the clothes boxes as a stylist which would be the best thing ever. I really love Stitch Fix, but it can be so damn expensive!