Today is exactly one week since we brought Lilly home from the hospital and it’s been a whirlwind. My mom, one of my best friends, and my husband’s mom were all here to help us adjust this first week and I couldn’t be more appreciative, especially since my recovery has been rough post c-section.
It’s funny; you don’t realize that a c-section is major surgery until you have one.
Recovery was pretty rough for me the first week, especially those few days in the hospital. I didn’t realize just how many things I do with my abdomen! Laughing, coughing, getting in and out of cars, and even sitting up in bed make me want to cry but, luckily, there’s plenty of medication to help. I was told by nurses at the hospital and by friends who’ve had c-sections that I need to walk as much as possible to speed up recovery so my husband and I have been taking walks with Lilly once or twice a day and I try to be as active around the house as I can.
Honestly, what bothers me the most about this recovery is that, my husband’s doing most of the baby care. I’m healing well so I’ve started doing more, but there’s still times where I can’t get up. My husband keeps telling me that it’s no problem and he never complains but, that doesn’t make me feel any better. I also feel like I’m not getting to bond with Lilly as much as he is so, I’m jealous.
C-section recovery aside, I think things have been going pretty smoothly. Even the lack of sleep at night is manageable (for now) and the annoyance I feel at night for being woken up so often by my daughter seems to wash away as soon as morning comes. Don’t get me wrong, the lack of sleep is really hard. I don’t think any amount of talk or research could have prepared me for the amount of work it takes to care for an infant. As hard a it is, however, it feels good getting up to do things for my baby. I’m taking care of her and bonding with her and it’s nice. I’m not sure if it’s the shift in hormones making me feel so calm most of the time or if this calm feeling is only temporary but, I feel good. I feel happy. I still can’t believe that Lilly is mine; I feel like her parents are going to come by any moment to pick her up and break my heart.
I also feel like my husband and I have gotten so much closer. We’ve started a new adventure together, bigger and grander than anything else we’ve done. I feel like I’m rediscovering him and we’re learning new things about each other every day. I’ve loved him for so long, but I feel like the love I have changed and grew into something deeper.
For a long time, I’ve been searching for something fulfilling; I’ve gone through so many jobs trying to find this. I’ve been trying to find that one thing that would make me feel like I had a purpose, something I could feel passionate about. Had I known back then that all I had to do was have a baby…I probably still would have waited 🙂